I wish I didn’t harbor such resentment towards everyone who’s abandoned me. I remember it used to be my biggest fear. Maybe, it still is. But I’ve always felt stranded by the people who were supposed to protect me. In foster homes. With other people. Or even in my own house. And I’m sure it stems from my mother choosing not to be in my life or something like that. But whenever I’d hop on a greyhound to go visit someone, I’d spend the ride panicky about whether or not they be there when I arrived. I was so terrified of how hurt I would be if that happened. Now… I’m just so angry at everyone who’s ever done that to me. Even the ones who can’t control their abandonment. Like my grandma. She didn’t ask to develop alzheimers but when she first stopped remembering who I am, I felt so left. Like I need you. Why are you leaving me?