I’ve always took great pride in being that blogger who ‘keeps it real’. I enjoyed being the one who allowed myself to be vulnerable enough to admit my flaws and hardships in a community where everyone was pretending to have none, to the world… but most importantly, to myself. I don’t think people do that anymore. Self analyze the things they do, the things they pursue and why and try to understand who THEY are. We’re all too busy trying to be someone else. And that’s what my blog became, a place for self discovery where I’d share what I found out about myself with the world….no matter how dark and scary those findings were. At least they were real. But now I’m starting to doubt that purpose as I’ve experienced more backlash for my honesty than anything. I’ve had too many CLOSE friends turn around and use all of those things against me. Even though, truthfully, they’re not much better. I’m just the only idiot who publicizes all those thoughts most people suppress or pretend they don’t have. I suppose it’s no one’s fault but my own that I’m being punished for it. And that’s why I’m considering taking this blogging thing in an entirely new direction. I’m starting to appreciate being an enigma more than being an open book. And I don’t know what the new direction will be, yet…. but I know I will never give that much of myself to you all again.